Do you remember the advice Miles gives to Joel in the classic 80s film Risky Business? Joel’s parents had just left town leaving him alone for a week, and Miles is encouraging him to make some changes: “Sometimes, Joel, you just gotta say, what the fuck.” In my own, small way, this has become a New Year’s resolution of mine, and I can say so far so good.
A couple of days each week I work at a large, socially progressive research university. The days I am on campus I like to swim laps for exercise. I’ve been doing this for years. And for years, the days I am going to undress in the locker room in front of other men, I have always chosen to wear my “normal” underwear. In 2020, however, I’ve decided to say what the fuck and show my true colors.
After my swim and shower, when I get dressed I put on my favorite undies – satin bikinis, thongs, and even lace. And you know what? I no longer care if people see me wearing them. I was always shy about showing these kinds of things. In my last relationship, my partner made me feel there was something wrong with me for being into underwear, especially the designs I like most. I have a different partner now, and she digs my love of underwear. Her approval, I think, has given me the desire to flaunt the things I really like to wear.
I also decided, what’s the worst that can happen? Somebody might say something to me? Unlikely, but ultimately I now understand that this would reveal more about them than me.
I started tepidly, and would quickly put my pants on after pulling on my thong. After a couple of months, I now take my time. I am sure it comes as no surprise that no one has said a thing to me. I have gotten a couple of double-takes, mostly from older men and on days I wore satin undies, bikinis that many would identify as panties.
I like who I am, and as strange as it might sound to many, underwear is part of how I express and define myself. That’s why this year I’ve decided to say what the fuck, and not be ashamed of who sees me in the things I like to wear. If you haven’t taken this kind of step, if you are like the older me that was shy and ashamed of liking to wear, I’d like to encourage you to think otherwise, and not to be shy or afraid about showing these “unconventional” things you like to wear.
Be who you are! If anyone isn't interested in that than you know you don’t need them in your life. I mean, what the fuck?