As the present purveyor of panties, the broker of beautiful briefs, the trader of tantalizing tangas, and so on and so forth I thought it might be fun to look at how we can move on from old to bold!
Just as descriptive figurative language can spice up a blog, there are many ways to perk up your underwear as well! Ugly words make for an ugly blog, so ugly underwear make for an ugly…well you get the picture.
Here we have some examples of some truly hideous and uninspiring undies.
Let us start with the traditional plain, boring, functional, lifeless tightie whities. They quickly look like they have seen better days and come on, all they say to anybody who sees them is, 'Hey. I'm gonna work. So get back to work!' Ugh, who wants to hear that! It is bad enough when it comes from your boss but when it comes from your crotch that is just sad.
Next we have the slightly more modern but still oh so dull baggy boxer shorts. Remember when it was cool for everyone to see your boxers while your pants or shorts were mid-thigh? Oh you don't? That is right, because it was never cool!! I suppose they do the bare minimum of at least preventing others from seeing your ass as you walk down the street but again all this says is 'I'm baggy and flabby. Wanna see more?' The answer is always no.
We have all seen and received this goofy underwear. Whether it is a snake, a elephant, or any type of mammal/reptile it is just pain weird. It isn't functional. It barely gets a laugh and if it does it is a singular laugh. Once. That is something everybody desires. Laughs inspired from the groin! Who wouldn't like that?!
I know when I like to get my point across, or have something important to say I always make sure to post my thoughts…on my underwear. Again, come on people! We have so many responsibilities in life. Family, work, friends, etc. The last thing we want to do when getting our partners clothes off is read! We have to read street signs, warning labels, and emails. Why the fuck would I want to read what's on your underwear?! This goes for you too ladies. I don't need to read that your ass is 'Juicy'. I want to get down to what's important. What is underneath. You might as well put up a stop sign. Reading, ya, who doesn't find reading ooohhhh so sexy?!
Hopefully you are having a good laugh while nodding your head and reading along. It is time now to step out from the old and go with the bold. Toss that boring, goofy, flabby, obnoxious pair in the trash. Replace them with something bold. Add that spice that is oh so nice to your underwear rotation. Wear something that says 'Hey. Wanna have a good time? Follow me!'
If you had an experience with a pair that is even more boring than what you see here share your horrible experience down below! If you remember the first time you went from old to bold we would love to hear about that too!
As always enjoy your life and dare to be BOLD!!